(i don't understand...

i'm here
     --in this somewhere

motionless, a fear,
certain insecurities

unsure of self,
      voiceless,

the room     cold
     too much dark
     around my eyes

            i wanted to tell
            you how i was.
            to tell you where
            i am,

don't know if i'm ready,
the world is too big
for my small hands,

                                   a word

misplaced     my
     directions home,

the heart--
     forign ground,     a wild
                               encounter

     it's difficult,
           b/c i have a lot
                 to learn,
                              to understand

     the look in her eyes,
          the long of her smile

i don't want to be here,
this uncertainty, this obscurity,
the way       i feel
           when i look
                   to the ground at
                   your feet

love is a choice
     to choose, make
                                peace,

find what     i'm looking for

               to see what's right
                    there--

to know...

          in this place
          that we're still
                    here

called you in the afternoon,
listened to     our silence,
          static & a dial tone,

to grow up,
an instant,
to face the mirror
     & see
              myself/yourself

i don't remember,
     time--
               the only...

head out,
              back,

rootless,     on the edge, by
                  creek and snowbank,

when for a walk,
saw a histroy in--

     waiting,

                 no response...